Drea Picture it: it’s 2am and you’re laughing so hard your cheeks hurt and your side aches. You’ve lost track of time as you’ve been having so much fun with your friends. This takes me right back to a girls trip to Austin. We were in such a state that EVERYTHING we said was hilarious – if we do say so ourselves.
These are the moments girls trips are made of. Solo travel is fantastic, but girls trips just hit different. Solo travel gets you in tune with yourself, while girls trips create deeper bonds with each other. These would be much harder to create – or take much longer to create – at home. Traveling alone can also be really good prep for girls trips, as you know more about your likes and dislikes. This gives you confidence as you take a girls trip, also giving you the freedom to relax and live in the moment.
And it’s not just a matter of my opinion – it’s a proven fact! Good old science has weighed in on this, showing that time with female friends not only creates great memories and strengthen bonds with each other. It also can relieve stress, increase mood, build resilience and even improve brain health. Keep reading for more about why girls trips aren’t just good for the soul, they’re good for the brain too!
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The Science Behind Female Friendships
The Unique Power of Female Bonds
You know those friends that just make you feel stronger, brighter, and an all-around better human? They bring a smile to my face just thinking about them. This type of connection feels so special, but it may actually be ingrained in our DNA. According to a UCLA landmark study by Dr. Shelley Taylor1, females are designed to “tend-and-befriend.” In other words, create and maintain social networks that can help each other survive.
Even better – when we form these bonds, women tend to release oxytocin, which has been shown to decrease stress and anxiety, positively impacting our mood and overall health – quite literally! Researchers at Ohio State and Carnegie Mellon2,3 even found that people with strong social supports have more robust immune systems and are less likely to succumb to disease.
Strengthening Bonds Through Travel
When you combine the benefit of these female bonds with travel, you increase the positive impact even further. Sharing challenging situations like trying new foods or navigating city streets also release oxytocin, amplifying the friendship bond. Additionally, traveling takes away the day-to-day distractions, allowing you to focus more on these “tending” and bonding behaviors. These new and novel environments activate your befriending response more strongly.
This is likely why I connect so deeply with people on girls trips or even during group travel. Friends I’ve made on group trips have become lifelong girls trip travel companions. The unique, first-time experiences we shared supercharged the happy juice in our brains. That time we were lost in the countryside of Nepal, trying to make our way to our next village? A seemingly scary situation is actually ingrained in my memory as one of our trip highlights as it brought us closer together. Savoring wine tasting on beautiful grounds that we haven’t been to? It’s the laughing together I remember more than the wine itself. Girls trip experiences good or bad, can help create new memories, build unique bonds, and make you be a better, healthier person.
Mental Health & Wellness Benefits
Why Your Mental Health Needs a Girls Trip
Stress Reduction
So now we know science is involved in building female bonds which reduces stress. But whether we realize it or not, we already apply some stress-relievers in our everyday lives. How do you tend to release stress? You can get away from your routine, removing all those stressors and worries in your brain. You can move your body, you can laugh – both of which work that nervous energy out of your system. And you can take a digital detox from those immediate triggers that push our system into high alert.
Girls trips give you the benefit of all these things in one go! Putting our phones away for a weekend at Miraval Arizona felt scary at first, but it became quite refreshing once we settled into it. It also gave us more time to focus on the experience and time with each other, vs worries in the outside world – if only for a little while.
Identity Reinforcement
This space away from your everyday routine also gives you time to reconnect with yourself. Ever notice that we take on different roles depending on what group or situation we’re in? When with the kids, you’re in Mom mode. At work, you’re in Ideal Employee or Boss Babe mode. When you’re with your friends, you can shed these personas and just be you.
With the right friends, you have a safe space to be vulnerable, share your fears and worries, hopes and dreams, and get the support and even guidance you didn’t know you needed.
Traveling with people sometimes puts you in new or uncomfortable situations. This allows you to get to know yourself and each other better and builds your confidence as you realize you can successfully overcome challenges in your path.
Emotional Regulation
Girls trips can be especially beneficial at those times when taking a girls trip seems like the last thing you can fathom. When you’re processing a significant life change like a breakup or facing an empty nest, time with friends can help you process that and remember who you are through the change. You can remember (or rediscover) yourself with the help of your friends.
While doing this, you’re also creating new memories that can fill the gaps and create bright spots to hold onto while you’re facing some dark ones. I remember after a significant breakup, I just wanted to hole up in my house and let all the feels overwhelm me. But some girlfriends wouldn’t let that happen. We ended up at a music festival for the weekend, and it was like the real world suspended itself for a bit. I got perspective on the wide world out there beyond my own problems, while also getting some validation on the fact that yes, I will live on. I will not only survive but I will thrive, with a little help from my friends.
Strengthening Relationships
How Travel Deepens Friendships
While you are improving your mental health, you are also strengthening your relationships, which continues to improve your health – creating an amazing friendship flywheel!
As I’ve mentioned, shared challenges create stronger bonds. Having quality time without distractions allows you to connect more. Whether you are navigating conflicts among the group, dealing with travel mishaps, or enjoying the shared experiences together, you have something special only your group shares. This often leads to inside jokes and lasting memories.
I remember at Club Med in Turks & Caicos, my friend and I had a ball beaching, dancing, relaxing all week. Every day they called people to the pool for activities, which I loved (and my friend loved making fun of me for). To this day, if I say “Alles Alles,” she knows exactly what that means.
Bonding Through Adversity
On a different girls trip, we had someone with an injury, so there were different levels of expected activity. She couldn’t do the hikes we had been planning to do as a group. Rather than let that damper the mood, we went into problem-solving mode. On some days we broke into two groups. On other days we did activities as a group that were manageable for everyone. It’s a great example of showing support for a friend and staying flexible to meet the needs of the group. It may not have been the itinerary we expected, but it made it even more special because our bonds were strengthened.
Not every girls trip is all rainbows and butterflies. With different personalities and travel styles, conflicts are bound to arise. I’ve experienced some of these moments, with tension arising between people in the group. The best thing to do is allow people to have some space to process on their own. If warranted, eventually have the people speak to each other about it. Often times the stress of the situation can heighten tension among people, and it can dilute after a bit of time apart. But even in these situations, you’re actually strengthening the bonds with each other. Your friendship has seen some hardship, in a unique situation that you likely wouldn’t have encountered at home. That can make your friendship more resilient when you return, as you have more faith that you can hit some rough patches and come out stronger on the other side.
Personal Growth & Empowerment
The Transformative Power of Traveling as Women
While the new and sometimes challenging situations you’re encountering help build bonds with each other, they are also helping you grow individually. Often times these trips may include doing something you wouldn’t normally do – from something as simple as sharing a room, to trying a new activity like snorkeling or cycling.
While this may not be your forte, you can learn from others in your group. Where are they strong, how do they handle new or uncomfortable situations, what aspects of this would you want to adopt? I’ve helped friends paddleboard for the first time, trying to put their mind at ease with some basics in calm water before heading out for a long day on the water. Likewise, I’ve had a friend help me get comfortable biking around Catalina – as conducive the town is for cycling, I get anxious biking on main roads. She was a great help and really set my mind at ease, making for a fun day cruising around town.
This is even more pronounced when you’re on foreign soil, experiencing cultural differences together. These can broaden your perspectives when you return home. Learning about Icelandic holiday tradition of giving and reading a book on Christmas Eve, as an example, gives me a whole new take that I think of every holiday season. Broadening perspective in one area makes it easier to broaden in other areas, too, making you more open to new ideas and points of view when you return home.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone, with a supportive group around you, helps you grow as a person. It also helps you build independence and confidence in yourself. The next time something new or different comes along in your everyday life, you’re better equipped to give it a go.
Life Stage Considerations
Why Every Life Stage Needs Girls Trips
Some may think girls trips are only for youngin’s, before you have a family and “settle down”. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Girls trips matter at every age and life stage. While there is no “normal” at each life stage anymore, there are some common life stage themes that can apply regardless of what age you are.
Your 20s:
In your 20s, you’re still learning who you are. You are forming lifelong bonds, seeking out adventure and new experiences. There’s no one better to do this with than your girlfriends. Bonds built now will set the foundation for lifelong friendships – and hopefully, more girls trips!
Your 30s:
Many people start to have life changes at this point. Whether it’s starting a new career or advancing in your career; changing towns; or starting a family, some significant shifts are going on! As hard as it can be, this is prime time to maintain your friend connections. Girls trips are a great way to reconnect and carve out space to keep those connections in place, even if you all travel back to different cities and lifestyles.
Your 40s & Beyond:
Once you’re past 40, there’s still a lot to celebrate (and travel) for! It could be career achievements like a promotion or retirement; dealing with an empty nest or ending of a relationship; celebrating a birthday; or simply no reason at all! I’ve had some of my most spontaneous girls trips at this stage because someone says, “hey, are you up for a New York trip next month?” Embrace these moments and say yes! They’re great for you, and they’re great to strengthen existing bonds and build new ones.
Breaking Down Barriers
Overcoming Common Objections
Ever heard that age-old adage: people either have the time but no money; or the money but no time? I’ve definitely seen that to be true in many cases, but there are also creative ways around this. Some common reasons I’ve heard to not to go on a girls trip include:
“I can’t afford it”
Guess what, not every girls trip has to cost a fortune! There are budget-friendly options out there, like doing a girls trip in a friend’s town. I’ve done this with friends that come to San Diego. Even though I live here, I treat the town like a tourist and focus on my friends for the weekend. My friend and I have even done weekend camping trips locally – it feels like we’re miles away from home when we’re only 20 minutes down the road.
“I don’t have time”
Girls trips don’t have to be long to be beneficial. Even weekend trips can make a difference. I’ve done quick getaways to Palm Springs or Napa, and have had friends visit me in San Diego. A friend and I even did a 36-hour trip to Las Vegas – busy schedule be damned! Believe it or not, even these quick trips give you the same bonding and health benefits of a longer trip.
“I feel guilty leaving family”
Because we can be “tenders”, we tend to put other people first. Family is definitely important, but we know that you can’t fully show up for your family if you’re not your optimal self. Reframing a girls trip as self-care and something needed for your mental health can give you the permission you need to prioritize this in your life. Your family will understand – and may even learn to be a bit more self-sufficient without you for a couple of days!
“My friends live far away”
These are sometimes the best people for girls trips! With so many tools available, virtual planning is a breeze. You can pick destinations that are easy to get to for everyone, or trade off on locations close to one or another. Rather than making trips to each other’s hometowns, you both get a new experience by meeting somewhere in the middle!
“Planning a trip seems too overwhelming“
If you’re not into the planning aspects of trips, I have good news for you – there are great options out there! All-inclusive places make it easy for you just to show up and have fun. I’ve visited several of these in different locations, as well as some cruises – which have been fab. If all-inclusive isn’t your thing, there’s still help for you. There are people (like me!) that will help you plan a trip. You provide some basic info and voila, a trip is pulled together for you and your girls!
Conclusion
So, the secret is now out. Girls trips aren’t just about frivolous fun – they’re about improving your health, bolstering your self-confidence, and deepening bonds we need to feel most alive in life. So that girls trip you’ve been postponing because it feels indulgent? You can now prioritize it higher on your list as it is key to your health – doctor’s orders!
While I do love to travel solo, I also love traveling with my ladies for these exact reasons. The experiences we share, the memories we make, and the self-discovery that happens along the way, is so special because we shared them together. I think of the people in my life like one giant village, there to support and encourage each other. Each girls trip I take makes this village a little stronger, a little bigger, and a little livelier. And I return even better than when I left. I have my girls to thank for that.
I hope this gives you an incentive to take your next girls trip invitation a bit more seriously. And if those invitations aren’t coming your way, perhaps it will give you the motivation you need to take the lead and propose one yourself!
If you’ve already taken girls trips, I’d love to hear your stories and the learnings you’ve had. Similarly, if you haven’t taken a girls trip but are not sure where to start, contact me for custom trip planning guidance!
Wherever you go and however you get there, I want you to have a trip to remember.
Happy travels, kindreds!
References
- House, J. S., Landis, K. R., & Umberson, D. (1988). Social relationships and health. Science, 241(4865), 540-545.
- Taylor, S. E., Klein, L. C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A. R., & Updegraff, J. A. (2000). Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: Tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight. Psychological Review, 107(3), 411-429.
- Cohen, S., Doyle, W. J., Skoner, D. P., Rabin, B. S., & Gwaltney Jr, J. M. (1997). Social ties and susceptibility to the common cold. JAMA, 277(24), 1940-1944.
RELATED POSTS
- If this convinced you it’s time, here’s the how: my full girls trips guide → covers where to go and how to plan one everyone’s happy with.
- Now that you know why girls trips matter, think about where you want to go! Take a look at my 18 top girls trips destinations here
- Sometimes a weekend is all is takes. Get your girls and head to San Diego or Palm Springs
- For a deeper dive into the Miraval experience, check out our wellness weekend at Miraval Austin
- For more about Todos Santos and other hot girls trips spots in Baja, read about my Baja Hidden Gems
- Want to take charge of the planning? Here’s how to plan a girls trip without losing friends
- Want to take a trip but your crew is too busy? Think about going solo! Take a look at What I learned Traveling Solo 3 Months in Italy – spoiler alert, it’s more than that the pasta is amazing (though it really is dream-worthy)
- Not ready for that yet? No problem! I met some of my amazing girls trip squads when I went solo on a small group trip. Read about my experiences 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Group Travel
HELPFUL LINKS
- Want help planning? This is what I do for a living. Tell me what you’re looking for, and I’ll take it from there.
- Favorite luggage – I love Away luggage and have them in a variety of sizes for every occasion: https://www.awaytravel.com
- Event and car bookings: https://www.viator.com
- Hotel and activity comparison: https://www.tripadvisor.com or https://www.expedia.com
