Traveling with My Mom: 6 Unexpected Lessons from Our Adventures Around the World

We’re alone, in the middle of nowhere, staying as still as possible as we’re surrounded by a giant pride of lions. They come, circle and stare at us, and gently keep moving along. We look at each other, both with awe and wonder on our faces, amazed at the experience we just had. Traveling with my mom, out on Safari in the Serengeti – a dream come true.

I’ve been traveling with my mom for years – from small weekends away to epic adventures – and I’ve learned so much about myself, her, and life in general. Mother-daughter travel is a special type of girls trip that I highly encourage anyone to do. At one point in my life, I didn’t think this would have worked well for us. As with many mother-daughter duos, sometimes we’re too alike for our own good. 😉

Many people have expressed this same concern about traveling with their own mother. Today, I see our trips as a gift and cherish each new memory we get to make together. Keep reading to hear how my perspective changed, and why I find it so special.

Why We Started Traveling Together

My mom and I had our first mother-daughter trip to La Paz when I was just a kid. While memorable, I didn’t have the same perspective on traveling with her as I do now. As I became an adult, I would still sometimes vacation with my parents and our broader family. We did larger family trips when I was married, and post-divorce I joined my parents on amazing cruises all over the world. But as much as they love each other (and cruising!), my mom and dad have different travel styles. My dad likes a comfy cruise and a relaxed schedule, while my mom is up for that, along with a bit more adventure.

I had also been traveling more on my own, and my mom was eager for a bigger trip that wouldn’t have been my Dad’s cup of tea. So, at one point, she and her high school best friend since suggested a mother-daughter trip to Greece. Her daughter was one of my good friends as well, so we all jumped at the chance to go. That’s how we found ourselves spending 2 weeks in Greece. Walking, driving, and laughing our way through the Greek mainland and the islands.

I’d like to say that trip became the catalyst for our adventures, but there was a bit of a pause. I moved, then started doing more adventurous trips. On of one these trips to South America, I met a mother-daughter duo in our group who were the warmest, liveliest pair you ever did meet. Seeing them experience this type of adventurous trip together inspired me to think about whether my own mom would be interested in doing one as well – and whether we’d still be talking after! 😉

When I broached the subject with her, she was ecstatic! So, our plan was set in motion, and she joined me, that same mother-daughter duo, and several others from that initial South America trip as we set out to hike, kayak and bike our way through Thailand. Since then, we’ve transitioned from being solely mother/daughter to travel companions – and it seems I learn something new each time.

6 Life Lessons from Traveling with Mom

1. You Finally See Your Mom as a Complete Person (Not Just ‘Mom’) 

We grow up with our moms, and they with us – so we each see each other through that lens. Sometimes jaded, often times biased, and just about always through our own perspective. When we travel, we’re in new environments, meeting new people and having new experiences. In those moments, the veil lifts and you see your parent as a separate person. This took me some time to learn, as initially much of what I experienced was through that old lens.

But as I saw her meet and form relationships with people I knew and loved, when I saw the excitement on her face as we walked with and bathed elephants in Thailand, or when she befriended the flight attendants on our way to Dubai and was decked out in their uniform, I saw her in a new light. She wasn’t just my mom. She was a strong, friendly, and adventurous kindred spirit. And much of what I learned, I learned from her.

2. The Role Reversal Is Real (And More Emotional Than You Expected) 

Growing up, you look to your parents for guidance and support. As you embark on a trip as adults, however, you may find those dynamics change. For a few reasons, I think my mom is more open to handing over control on trips to me. One reason is she knows I enjoy it, and because I’ve done a lot of it, I have the experience. But she could do it too and has done it on trips when I’m not there. I think she also likes the ability to just relax and be in the moment, which is great to see.

The partially hidden aspect of this is the role reversal. I’m now the one navigating us through city streets, booking our dinners, problem-solving when things go astray. When we were checking in to fly to Qatar, and realized she hadn’t completed the necessary travel visa and we were at risk of not being allowed to board, it was my turn to stay calm. I walked through what we needed to do, and helped her stay calm in the process. (Good news, the visa came through in the nick of time and we made it to Doha successfully!).

It’s an interesting, kind of meta situation to be in, especially if you think about it too much. But it also comes with the territory of parents getting older. And it doesn’t take away her parenting instinct by any means. When I was frustrated on our Scotland trip, she was there to soothe me and remind me all was ok.  It’s good to know we’re at the stage where we can both take care of each other.

3. Generational Differences Aren’t Obstacles – They’re the Secret Sauce 

Coming from different generations, there’s some themes that could make traveling together harder, when in fact, they can make them more interesting! My mom is pretty open on what she wants to see, but she has an interest in our Jewish heritage. Because of that, we incorporate museums, historical sights, and the like. These aren’t things I would always see on my own, so it’s a good reminder for me, and a good history lesson.

I’ve also become the de-facto photographer, given my penchant for my iPhone along with my passion for taking pics. Don’t get me wrong, my mom is quite tech savvy! That said, she is happy to let me be on photo-duty.

Another hidden benefit of the generational difference is that my mom likes a more relaxed, leisurely pace. This allows her to notice things and people that I likely wouldn’t. It also forces me to take my pace down a notch. I make sure we get some leisurely days mixed in amongst my typically packed agendas. It’s taught me the beauty of slow travel, something I now try to add into all my trips regardless of my travel companions.

4. Travel Reveals Your Parent’s Unspoken Dreams (And Regrets) 

Traveling in general takes you out of your day-to-day, which leaves room for ponderings, perspective, and dreaming. This leads to conversations that probably wouldn’t happen at home. You learn about places your mom has always wanted to see and ones that have meaning that you never knew about. Sometimes it’s about regrets of trips not taken or decisions that were made. And at other times, it’s about processing emotions that she is dealing with at that point in time.

I remember on our safari trip in Africa, we saw a lone dik-dik (think small gazelle) standing stiff like a statue. It was probably less than 100 yards from a pair of cheetahs who had clearly just finished a meal. We mistakenly thought the dik-dik was scared to move, for fear of being chased/eaten. Our guide informed us that in actuality, dik-diks mate for life, and it’s partner is the one the cheetahs likely just dined on. He said that when a dik-dik loses its mate, it stands in mourning, grieving the loss. The herd moves on, and the dik-dik will eventually catch up after this initial grieving period.

It was so heart wrenching to see, and was made even more so when I saw tears running down my mom’s face. She had just lost a very close friend, and she could relate to the dik-dik mourning the loss of someone. Prior to that, she had tried to distract herself to not feel the pain. But in this raw, vulnerable moment, she had no option but to let it out. That broke my heart and reminded me that she’s her own person with her own hopes, dreams and pain in life.

5. Watching Your Mom Be Brave Changes How You See Courage 

Seeing my 60-something year old mom hike along the Cinque Terre in Italy was so inspiring. Similarly, seeing her smoke the rest of us on the biking and kayaking portion of our Thailand trip was a proud daughter moment – and a reminder to get in better shape so I can do that when I’m her age! And when a monkey broke into our room in Tanzania, it was she who was brave enough to chase him out (he went leisurely with a handful of our grapes, but at least he went)!

To this day, when I tell people I’m traveling with my now 70-something year old mom, they have awe and appreciation for the fact that we can still travel together. The truth is that my adventurous, resilient, spunky spirit really comes from her. She gave that to me, and I’m glad we get to keep making new memories together. 

6. The Time You Spend Now Becomes the Memories That Sustain You Later 

The older we both get and the more trips we take, I see these more as just new experiences we can share. We are creating new core memories that can sustain us when the time comes that we can’t take these trips anymore. When we can’t see each other in this realm anymore. It’s a hard, sad and maybe morbid thing to think about, but it’s also reality (hopefully not for a very long while!!). When we first started traveling together, this wasn’t something that I thought about. It was about the adventure of it all. Now, it’s still about adventure, but it also holds a lot more meaning.

Long before that final curtain calls, we are creating so many memories and moments to treasure forever. The inside jokes, the once-in-a lifetime sights, and yes, even the struggles, are things to look back and laugh at.

Practical Tips for Traveling with Your Mom (Or Any Parent) 

In order to have these amazing memories to reflect on, you need to plan a trip that works for both of you. This is slightly different than planning for a group of friends or a solo trip.

Where to Go

You need to think about the energy level and physical abilities of your mom. That can change the type of trip you’ll take. If your parent has significant limitations, there are still options for you. From a low-key weekend away, to going to a resort or on a cruise that require little activity, there’s plenty of ways to travel without a lot of exertion. For my mom and I, our multi-day trekking trips are likely over, but there’s still a world of ways we can and do travel together.

Once aligned on the level of physical exertion needed, think about destinations you both would like to see. Ideally there’s some overlap in your Ven diagram of want-to-see-sights.

Pro tip: You can still have adventure without a lot of exertion! We were pampered and cared for every minute of our safari, going the glamping route. And because we were in jeeps most of the day, there was very little walking but LOTS of excitement! We got to experience one of our dream destinations, with a pace and intensity that fit both of us.

How to Pay

Something else to discuss is budget. Sometimes parents want to cover the cost of their children, and that’s great! Other times, the role reversal comes in and now that the child is making their own income, they cover the cost of the parent. Also, great! Or, of course, you can split costs. It really comes down to not having any expectation either way and talking through what works best for both of you. My mom and I have done a blend of these, varying it trip to trip.

What’s the Ideal Pace

Lastly, think about your itinerary planning and how intense you make it. You’ll also want to think about how much solo or together time you want. Are you ok sharing a room, or do you need your own space? Is time on your own a good thing to break up the mother-daughter dynamic a bit?

Need more than just a short break? Joining a day or group trip could work for you. Introducing new people can mix up the energy and change the dynamics a bit. Every mother-daughter pair is different, so there’s no right answer here. The important thing to know is there are plenty of options to consider.

Our Most Memorable Destinations Together 

I’ve already mentioned several memories of our trips together. Here’s a look at some of our most memorable trips and who they were with.

Just the Two of Us 

We’ve done several trips that have just been mom and me. Most recently, we spent two weeks traveling through England & Scotland. Last year, we did a long weekend in Ashland, Oregon to see the Shakespeare festival. In the past, we’ve done smaller things like a road trip down highway 101, staying in towns like Mendocino and Santa Barbara. We’ve also done some epic trips, like our 2.5 weeks in Tanzania, going on a Serengeti safari and relaxing in Zanzibar. We’ve made some fun memories on a trip to Australia.

Another pro-tip: Look at creating some 2-in-1 trips with extended layovers offered through airlines. We did this in Dubai in the UAE and Doha in Qatar, allowing us to see a new place that we may not have gotten to otherwise.

The More the Merrier 

We’ve also had some great family and friend trips. The Greece one I mentioned is still a standout, along with a trip to Orcas Island with the same crew.

We have a group of women (that original mother/daughter inspiration at the helm) that meets yearly, and we’ve traveled to Banff, Maine, Napa, Seattle, and the Olympic Mountains, with more destinations to come.

Family trips still stay in the mix! Our family has done some fun trips like Disneyland, Nuevo Vallarta for my birthday, June Lake for a family wedding, Paris for Christmas and New Year’s, and Cabo because, Cabo! And of course, several cruises because my dad loves his cruise time! Alaska, South America, and the Mediterranean were great family time at sea.

Joining Up with a Group 

Some trips we took were organized adventure trips, but we added on time before and after to see more of the area. This was the case on our trip to Thailand, where we started in Bangkok, went to Chiang Mai for a little adventure, and ended at Koh Samui for some relaxing beach time.

A similar theme occurred in Italy, where we did some city sights with Vencie and Florence, some adventure hiking the Cinque Terre, and wrapped with some relaxing drinking wine and making pasta in Tuscany.

Continuing the pattern, we did some city sightseeing in Croatia, followed by a week on a yacht with a group sailing the Croatian islands.

Wherever we go and whoever we’re with, we always have a great time!

Conclusion

As I write this, I reflect on how my relationship with my mom has evolved over the years. From a frustrated teen wanting more freedom, to a know-it-all young adult who needed independence, to a middle-aged woman who sees her mom as her own beautiful, strong, courageous woman and friend. I’m not sure this would have happened at such a deep level without the benefit of traveling together.

So, the take-away here may be, the more you’re nervous about traveling with your mom, or any parent, the more it may actually be a good thing. It can give you the ability to see your parent in a new, more objective light. It can give room for conversations and connections that may not have happened otherwise. And it can create new core memories that can replace, or overshadow, any tough ones you may have.

Does that mean it will be seamless, all rainbows and butterflies? Heck no! We still bicker. We still annoy each other occasionally. But more than that, we can appreciate the bigger picture. The good times far outweigh the bumpy times. And sometimes, those bumpy times end up being funny moments to look back on.

If you’ve already traveled with your mom (or parent), I’d love to hear your stories and learnings. On the flip side, if you’re still hesitant to give it a shot, let me know what’s holding you back. If all your worries could be overcome, where would you want to go first?

Wherever you go and however you get there, I want you to have a trip to remember.

Happy travels, kindreds!

RELATED POSTS

• Want even more reasons to take a mother daughter trip? Read my article about 6 life-changing benefits of female travel.
• Want to be ready with ideas on where to go? Take a look at my 18 top girls trips destinations here.
• Want to go with your mom but need a support group? No problem! My mom and I have had amazing experiences on small group trips. Read about my experiences 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Group Travel.
• Want to take a trip but not ready to go with a parent? Think about going solo! Take a look at What I learned Traveling Solo 3 Months in Italy – spoiler alert, it’s more than that the pasta is amazing (though it really is dream-worthy)

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